Happy Thanksgiving guys!
I could not be more thankful and my heart could not be more full because of those two little girls right down there! Even though, even though, yesterday morning Arlo, Remy and I were all snuggled on the couch, and I had my last quarter cup of coffee in hand, laptop open to check some e-mails, Elf on in the background (yes, again, for me) and Remy was vying for my attention because you know, the ONE time, seriously I have NEVER before attempted the laptop-and-coffee- combo ON THE COUCH with both of them awake before, and she HAD to put an end to this weirdness at once so she looked up straight at me, leaned over, and Achoo!-ed right into my coffee. Pretty sure it was forced or faked or something! Needless to say, couch time was over.
I am happy to report, that last night, after we FINALLY got the girls to bed after the nth time, husband and I finally click clicked on a couple Christmas gifts for the girls! Woop- wool! Feeling on top of things so far… Well one gift is a for sure and on its way from Amazon and we got a $50 gift card just for signing up for a card! (This is totally not a paid or sponsored ad, just a great deal we stumbled on and thought I’d share!) The other is soothing we are bidding on over at eBay. Again, totally not sponsored here- just sayin’! I don’t think have ever officially placed a bid! Have you ever?! Did you win?! This is SO exciting! haha! And it might be really disappointing. Either way, we have been mulling over ideas and discussing for a few weeks now and I think husband and I have come to some unanimous decisions and it’s FUN shopping in unison! Sometimes… haha!
So, who out there is hosting the big dinner today? Or are you like me and just getting away with making a casserole and skipping over somewhere for a feast? We have not yet hosted a Thanksgiving meal! Not that we are avoiding it by any means, but my mom has been up for hosting so we head up north and let her handle that turkey. It’s getting harder and harder to get ALL of my siblings in one place, and with separated parents, it’s impossible to be with both on the holiday. For those of you who still have parents who are together, be thankful!
Speaking of parents being together, husband and I. YES- don’t worry, still happily together, but we did have bit of disconnect happening this past year, and I am thankful that we caught up to it, and are learning more about communication with each other and really delving into things we were doing that hurt each other to cause that disconnect in the first place. I don’t like to divulge personal details and the extremely private and personal details of my marriage or even my private life; I try to keep things on the surface and light around here, but I have always been a big believer in transparency and authenticity and the whole point of having a blog is not to masquerade around like something you are not. Perfect we are not. Husband and I love each other very much, but it doesn’t mean our actions always mirror our hearts. I wasn’t greeting him from long days at work as a wife who loves her husband would, and he was saying hurtful things in arguments that stuck like putty and created a thick callus on my heart that made me NOT want to greet him so nicely or do anything extra. It was cyclical, and ugly. Like anyone, any couple, any marriage, we are imperfect. We have rough edges that need smoothing and corners that need shaping before we can turn them.
Simple things, nice gestures, gentle, kind tones in our voices, just being courteous to each other somehow, somewhere, slipped by us like a phase in all the baby haze, and it was like both of us forgot how to be nice to people we liked- US! He would walk in and I would bark things like, “Can you grab her?! Did you get this?! I was CALLING YOU!” We would get the girls down to bed and do our own nightly routines and roll over and go to bed. We stopped- we have recognized, and we are changing this. A good friend shared this video with me and I thought it was so poignant and beautiful if you want to watch too and be inspired, it’s only two minutes- but well worth it, especially if you are married or engaged!
I am thankful for a friends who listen, who hug, who care. Friends like you who may be reading from afar but feel a connection to this space and to me, and I hope we can help each other! Thankful for the family who lets you sound off and also leaves you alone to let things shimmy out where they may. I am thankful for professional counselors who have been married for 45 years, and help you see that your marriage really is, a beautiful thing down in there. A counselor who is helping us pick it all apart and rooting for us while we find that missing piece and get it tucked in tight again. The important thing is surrounding ourselves with people who root for marriage, who are rooting for us, because they KNOW us. WE want to be better for each other and for our kids. We still one up and argue over minutia, we are the Kostanza’s, but we are getting better, and I am thankful that we are BOTH listening, trying to adjust old, bad habits, and thankful that we are both rooting for each other.
I hope that when our girls are grown, when we are old, we will all still be together on holidays and especially Thanksgiving. Husband and I will probably be bickering over who turned off the oven or spouting off because one of us (definitely me) left the oatmeal pot in the sink again, but I would be so blessed if these girls would make it back home to be with us during this special time of year, or at the very least hopeful that we will heading over to their table, all of us, all together.
I am thankful for YOU, husband, who ALWAYS reads and gives me the harshest and most true and honest feedback from a place of love. Thankful for you who works 14 hour days so we can have home cooked meals and days playing at parks before they’re grown. Thankful for you who may think he gets lost in the shuffle and is last on the totem pole, but is really the foundation holding the whole thing up. We love you. I love you. Thank you.
Thanks for reading everyone and have a Happy Thanksgiving!
And now some photos of our beautiful girls that we are incredibly blessed and thankful for! From a day at the park a couple weeks ago!
Remy is wearing a vintage dress, (this one has a similar 90’s feel, but more fluff and Remy would LOVE it just as much as she loves and requests this one), striped leggings (similar) and Superga sneakers, but how CUTE are THESE?!