Changing of Seasons
The mornings here have been cool enough for sleeves! There's a nip in the air, but unfortunately by noon I am sweating my beret off, literally, and it's upper 80's. HOWEVER, I can feel and SEE fall sneaking in and I am SO excited! Seasons. So, I am also having a really great time in this NEW season of life lately! I don't know, but I am pretty sure Remy being beyond ready for Pre-K has something to do with it! Having that chance to breathe, all of us, away from each other for a few hours a week has really changed the flow and family feels around here. I am spending time with Arlo, but I am still in the, lets-get-this-and-this-and-this-done phase, the novelty of having a bit of newfound, half-freedom with only one child for those few hours a week. I want to REALLY zoom in, get down, and be just WITH Arlo. Her first swimming session just finished and it turns out the next one was full, so we are sitting this session out, and I sort of like that.
Remy is THRIVING and LOVING her school days, it is always excitement and glee sending her off! She has already had on time out- a spat over a friend. She didn't want to share her new friend with someone and I guess it got to that level of needing a time out. Posession over friendships is our first lesson and takeaway from school, in the social department I suppose. She is also starting to write her name! I am THAT mom who never taught her daughter how to write her name an dfigured she would learn in school. Her "R's" have been turning out like P's! This weekend she was using a marker on a piece of paper at an event and she was writing P's and T's, it turns out that was her trying to right her name! The R was missing the leg and the Y needs to be more inverted, but the shapes and lines are forming an fit is REALLY cool to see! Now cursive! Joking, although that WILL be something my girls will learn. I have heard most schools have done away with cursive writing, GASP! My nieces could not even read their birthday cards! I was shocked! I KNOW we are in a technological, digital-era, but to not know how to SIGN your NAME?! This is CRAZY! Thoughts?
I can see Arlo growing and learning too! She is a totally different learner than Remy, and seems slower than Remy was at this age, so it is interesting and surprising to me. We were doing some trivia tonight, I found these cards at the thrift store once, I like to keep them in the kitchen. They are BOTH excited when I pull these out now! Arlo is SO literal! EXTREMELY visual. She had to count birds on a wire and she kept skipping number two. She was counting all the birds, "1-3-4-5-6," just missing that 2! I held Remy back from blurting answers, and I could tell it was irking Remy that Arlo was taking longer to get to conclusions. But we were patient. Arlo was determined to do it herself until she got it right! "I do it! I do it!' And she did! In her defense, the cards were for ages 4-8!
So with less focus and attention on feedings and potty trainings and less and less meltdowns, although those seem to creep in at night time...I have MORE time to focus on myself and my thoughts, goals, ideas about what's next. Guess what I came up with?! Nothin' yet! Stay tuned... but the fact that there is time and space to just THINK, is incredible. This may sound weird to those of you who are pregnant with your first, or maybe you have one and you are thinking, "Gee how busy can it be?" Those of you who have at least two understand, those of you who have four or more are NOT reading this because you DON'T have time and if you do, you should be sleeping or eating!
I always saw myself as a "Career Mom." I earned my degree just before having Remy and that never really happened. I was working for a tech-startup that moved to the Netherlands and I was married and pregnant and still finishing school and I did not have a position with the company that would warrant a move like that, so I stayed home. I have been incredibly FORTUNATE and BLESSED to have had this incredible SEASON, but it's changing. I would NEVER trade it for any career startup truly. I can't quite put my finger on it, but the change is like the leaves turning, you know it happens, you start to see signs of them changing and falling, but it seems like overnight you wake up and everything is not what it was before. I feel like I am in my FALL-phase of motherhood. I KEEP searching for signs, reaching out and really looking for what is happening and what this feel of change will turn into. I'm like a caterpillar who has no clue he is turning into a butterfly-hahah! I am on alert and receptive, outgoing and optimistic, about working, about what it is I want to do with my days and my time, but it's like those yellow leaves slowly saturating the trees all round... when you focus too hard on that one single leaf on the sidewalk, you miss all the color-bleeding happening in the canopies. The last couple of years, as we drive along streets, as we walk along paths, when we play in parks, we, my girls and I, are on the hunt, we are watchful and welcoming of the change. I feel like I am head-up, eyes-open, waiting and breathing in all the changes happening to me too, and THAT is something NEW for me, a gift that motherhood brought me. I am NOT looking for something, anything really, I am just truly heart open, accepting of the fact that life will change and is changing. Of course there's a few psychotic late night rants and texts to husband mixed in that pile of leaves on the ground too. Something about how I am a terrible person, my kids are (blankety-blanks) and I probably should have never had children, thrown in there too, because then what would life be without those fiery flecks in there? Luckily, they ALL get swept up, mulched, decomposed and we start anew.
I leave you with something Remy said to me on Monday as we drove home from school:
Me: "OOHhhh, girls, look, see up there?! See the trees turning yellow?! I SEE signs of FAAAAllll!"
Me: "Yeah baby..."
Remy: "And do you know who made it so that all the leaves turn to fall?"
Remy: "And do you know who loves all of us?"
Remy: (In a whisper trailing off.) "And we love him..."
These photos were taken on Pa's Farm! This was one evening we fed the animals, put on our pants and sleeves and walked his property. We brought along some watermelon, and I had a glass of his Cab Sav (he MADE!) He has three female horses that stay on his property and they are all pregnant right now! They walked right past us! Those horses truly KNOW and adore Remy. We also caught a spectacular Colorado sunset!
Remy is wearing a leotard from Alice & Ames, but nothing beats a classic Bloch if you need one for legit dance class. Boots are Tommy Hilfiger, old, but THESE booties we NEED! Her blue leggings are Hanna Andersson, similar here.. Arlo is wearing a thrifted, vintage slip, and then a thrifted chevron top and black leggings from Target.