Happy FIRST Birthday Arlo!
Arlo turned ONE WHOLE YEAR! I have to admit when I put her to bed the evening before her birthday, I got a little choked up. I held her a little longer when nursing, smelled her hair and the nape of her neck, whispered in her ear and put her down to sleep.
When you are in the thick of mommy hood, the diaper changes, the teething, ohhhh the teething, the sleep cycles, the growth spurts, the, the, the, (fill in the blank), you can forget to just be. With Arlo I was more conscious and aware of just how fast time can go, but the days still can get the best of you. Many, many late night feedings were done in the glow of an iPhone screen, but this last year, I will say that I put it down when I wanted to and would just listen to her suckle, or watch how her little fingers gripping her swaddle blankie. I love to check my e-mail and scroll through my Instagram feed when I am forced to sit still for 15 minutes, but I would remind myself that no photos of anyone else's kid could ever be worth my attention more than this little chick pea right in my lap.
Social media, this blog, they are attention hogs, but I have been very, VERY, mindful of this. I knew it from the beginning with Remy, and was even cautious to even text in front of her, but I have to say I haven't been the most strong willed in this area. Just last night I peered over the wall to the T.V. room and was watching Remy play and she had a rectangular block in her hands and she was playing with her babies in a diaper box. I asked her what she was doing, thinking she had the remote control, and she answered, holding the block, "Go away momma, go away. I'm texting." AGHHH! Insert emoji with monkey holding face, although I STILL don't understand when to properly use said monkey face, or any of the monkeys for that matter. If that's not terrible, than this is. The other day I was coming down the stairs and I rattle of a checklist of what I need as we leave, Remy had grabbed my phone and handed it to me, chin down, eyes gazing up, gesturing with her little arm out, "Here you go mommy. Wanna text?" Like, it's okay, go on, you know you need to text... Insert emoji man with ghost face and blue arms by ears... I haven't been the best, and I could always be better, but somehow when your baby turns one year old, you feel like you have to shut down the internet and become a recluse just so you can savor more baby, more cushy goodness.
A year is a good time to reflect on everyone's change and growth, as a family unit. We did good. We're doing good. We are playing hard and loving hard and yes of course it all goes, "so fast," but we are savoring what we can, when we can, the best we can. There is no gauge to measure how much time you can trick into being yours, but somehow that very device with the built-in flash light for night time feedings, and the notes system for jotting down your grocery list, and that fancy little "What to Expect" app, is the one sucking it away. I know this. I have this. I use this. And you know what, it's okay. It just so happens this same appendage has me snapping photos more easily and more frequently, sharing videos to family more fluidly and being my best personal mommy assistant for the least amount of cost per hour that I could ever get. But back to the birthday girl.
What a fun year! A FULL year! A very busy and emotional year it has been. So many milestones... rolling over, sitting up, new teeth, crawling, head shaking, jiving to Omi's Cheerleader in you car seat, pulling Remy's hair mischievously in the bath just to peeve her, I AM so excited to see what the next year uncovers of who you are! I want to know more about you little one. How you process, see your love and hear you verbalize your emotions... we're just getting into the good stuff.
Happy very FIRST birthday ever my sweet little fluff!