Two Under Two
It's October?! I had the baby?! It's what time?! It's not Sunday it's Thursday you say?!
I am FINALLY feeling like I can come up for air! Two babies under two is insane in this house! I thought I had admiration for mothers when I became one myself, but somehow having more than one just amplifies that. Not that moms of multiples or more than one are any more "mom" than singlets, but this is an all new ball game folks.
I hear so many mommies say they want their babes close together and how sweet it would be to have them be bests and how they want to, "get it over with." Well, having two this close wasn't exactly thought out and planned on our part, and I would not recommend it unless you are stress-free, care0free, have an amazing toddler that sleeps through the night and feeds themselves and is on their way to potty training and listens to you when you tell them to stop, and can walk on their own and...and...and...
For us and our offspring, it has proved to be challenging these past four weeks. ( I can't believe she will be a month old this Friday!!!!) Time didn't fly this fast with one, and I feel like I am missing out on all the newborn-ness of this one. I am conscious of it and make efforts to soak the newbie up after big sis is in bed.
Most days I am lucky to get us all somewhat nourished, hair combed, clothes on and out the door to get momma coffee and Remy some park time, story time or play date in by noon, then before you know it, it's back to the house for lunch and nap. The good news is, I am saving a ton on MY wardrobe, or lack thereof, and cosmetics will be going a LOT further these days.
The jealousy, ohhhh the jealousy... I thought the doll and the books were preparation and she was ready for it, but nothing can really prepare a BABY for a new baby. Much like there is no prep for labor pains. There have been tantrums and fits and screaming and naughtiness daily since we brought baby home, although the last couple of days have shown improvement. Although she kisses baby and asks for her baby sister first thing in the morning, big sis can have a streak of jealousy and before you know it she's swiping the head or scratching her hand. Daddy can't even hold the baby around Remy without her going crazy, so cuddles are reserved for after bedtime when Remy is down.
On our first outing as four, we were in Boulder for a dental appointment for hubby and I found myself at the park with both girls. I had the baby in her car seat, and let Remy walk from the car to the playground. I had to breastfeed AND diaper change the baby and give Remy snacks and hoist Remy up into a swing whir holding a crying newborn. It was my best to give Remy some fun, and throw myself into life with two under two as soon as possible.
There have been many days where both are crying and I am lactating through everything and sweating from postpartum and trying not to break down. I have sat on the side of the bath tub while Remy bathes and breastfed the baby, I have ran from room to room, tapping a pacifier into one, and getting jambes on another. Nights run into days, and there have been all nighters from one waking up the other and so on and so forth. The newbie is WAY fussier than Remy ever was, and tummy issues keep a feeding from being a half hour for most babies to an hour and a half to three hours at times. She has gotten better, and we finally tried the Gas Drops by Hyland's which seem to help as well as rubbing oil on her tummy. As she is growing the feedings are getting better.
Thank you to everyone for their encouragement that things do get better and easier as time marches on. "You'll get into a routine," they assure me. I just hope time doesn't march on so fast that I miss out on the little grunts that I can hear from my bed right now from that sweet baby, and the little curled stretches, and that flaky newborn skin, and those tiny fingernails, and that smell- oh that newborn smell... I steal the baby away upstairs or into another room when hubby is home, and when the baby is sound asleep during the day and we are on the go, I chase Remy and play peek a boo and try to keep it about her as much as possible. It's that moment when the baby wakes and needs a diaper change or a boob that things get hairy.
BUT...and this is HUGE...as tired as I am most days, and as I send prayers up for patience, and look back on the little meltdowns on my husband's shoulder after the end of some long days recently, I am thankful, BLESSED, and SO appreciative of what God has given me. I know some out there could only dream or pray for one little cherub and here I have two. They say God only gives you what you can handle, so that gives me peace of mind. The more I run into people and talk to strangers about the age gap between their children, the more I discover that we are actually right there with a majority of parents. We can do this!
I'll keep you posted on when things have gotten "easier," around these parts. I KNOW I am NOT the first, nor the last to have two under two, so for those of you who have been here, or are here, any tips to find this said "routine?" Also, how about that couple from Utah who struggled with infertility for 8 long years and found out in July that they were expecting TWO sets of identical twin girls after undergoing in vitro?! Bless them! Okay, we got this!
Off to feed a waking babe...